The Lens We Don’t Know We’re Looking Through
Why our assumptions shape more than our strategies
Have you ever said, “I’m just busy at the moment,” and watched someone back away, looking hurt, as if you’d said, “I don’t have time for you right now”?
To you, ‘I’m busy’ might mean purposeful, focused, getting things done.
To them, it might signal overwhelm, agitation or emotional unavailability.
Same word, different interpretation.
This is one of the many ways our mental models show up - not as big declarations, but in the subtle ways we decipher everyday language, intentions, and interactions.
Mental models are the assumptions, beliefs, and internal frameworks that shape how we interpret the world. They influence what we notice, what we ignore, and what we believe is possible.
We all have them. They’re not good or bad. They’re just… there, in the background, steering our thinking, choices, and behaviour often without our conscious awareness.
In systems work, mental models matter because they are the unseen architecture beneath the visible parts of a system like the policies, programs and structures.
They explain why people in the same organisation, community or even family can use the same language, but pull in different directions. They also explain why change and progress towards goals or understanding can stall when deeply held assumptions aren’t named, let alone questioned.
A few years ago, I was working with a group exploring how to create a more inclusive environment. Everyone agreed on the goal. They even agreed on the language: safe, welcoming, inclusive.
But when we unpacked what those words meant to different people, we found very different pictures.
For some, “inclusion” meant adapting existing spaces to ensure everyone felt welcome.
For others, it meant rethinking power structures from the ground up. Still others thought it meant inviting more diverse people to the table, without changing the table itself.
Same word. Different worlds.
Our mental models shape:
How we lead (“Is leadership about setting direction, or creating space for others to step in?”)
What we reward (“Do we value visibility and achievement, or quiet contribution and care?”)
What we fear (“Is disagreement a threat to harmony, or a chance to deepen understanding?”)
How we parent (“Do we see independence as success, or is closeness and interdependence the goal?”)
How we build community (“Is inclusion about inviting people in, or reshaping the space so everyone feels they belong?”)
And often, they operate beneath the level of awareness.
Surfacing these mental models takes time, trust, and curiosity. It’s not easy work, but once they’re visible, things start to shift.
It might begin with noticing tensions, inviting multiple interpretations, or simply asking, “What do we really mean when we say that?”
Small questions can open big doors.
Ultimately, we want to uncover:
What assumptions are guiding our decisions?
Are they shared, or just assumed?
What might become possible if we challenged them?
As this drives progress.
If Week 1 of this #systemsthinking series was about seeing systems, and Week 2 was about seeing patterns, then this week is about seeing the lens we’re seeing through.
Next week, I’ll explore power. Not just who holds it, but how it flows, where it pools, and what happens when we stop pretending it doesn’t shape our systems.
Until then, here’s to questioning what we thought we knew 😉
Onwards and upwards,
The fun stuff this week:
I’m watching The Blacklist on Netflix. Far-fetched plot and a shoot-out in every episode, but the characters are morally ambiguous enough to keep me intrigued.
I’m frocking up on July 5 to attend the Ballarat Foundation’s Dancing with Our Stars 2025*. You can support our fabulous major fundraising event here or better yet, if you’re local, come along on the night 💃
(*I’m not dancing this year but I do get to hand out the prizes!)